How to Choose Groomsmen (The Ultimate Guide)

Here is the ultimate guide on how to choose groomsmen. Because the groom has to pick his share of the wedding party. Or doesn’t he?

Once you have chosen your groomsmen, you gotta ask them. Start getting them ready for the big day with this proposal box. Ships from Northborough, Massachusetts. Get yours here!

For some of you, choosing the groom’s squad may have been tackled before the proposal. For the rest, we recommend reading this guide on how to choose groomsmen for your wedding.

We’ll cover everything you need to know to masterfully take care of this wedding planning task. From groomsmen selection to their duties, to “do you even need to choose groomsmen”, to when and how many – this guide hopes to provide the answers you need to pick the best groom’s squad ever.

And you thought all you had to do was propose, get a tux, pick a best man (we’ll cover this in another article), have a bachelor party and show up at the wedding.

So first up…

What Do Groomsmen Do, Anyway?

You’d think your bros were just there to stand around and look dapper.

But there are actual duties involved for these title-bearers. For starters, these guys (or gals) will be supporting you through all the wedding planning and prep. From organizing and paying for a dope bachelor party (ala The Hangover movie) to ushering the guests on your big day (unless you have picked ushers), to dancing with the bridesmaids and single women at your bash, these men ultimately form your biggest support system. Ah, yes! And partaking of the groom’s cake tradition!

A guide to know how to choose groomsmen for your wedding and nail it.

Getting your best friend ready for his wedding is a serious matter and needs to be done properly. Photographer: Rick Liston. Venue: Flowerdale Estate. Groom’s suit: Bell & Barnett.

And if you’re wondering if you count on them at odd hours to demand booze, snacks or an impromptu pep talk, you do. Within measure, of course, you don’t want to become a groomzilla, do you?

Additionally, they’d be the crew walking the bridesmaids’ up and down the aisle. But we promise to dedicate a whole article to the groomsmen duties soon.

Related: Types of Wedding Suits for Grooms: Groomswear According to the Event

How Many Groomsmen Do I Have To Choose?

Uh! Is this a trick question? As many as you want, bro!

(Just don’t invite the whole fraternity! Or do!)

Really, there is no right answer to this one. You can ask three to six men to be a part of your wedding party, or a single one to be your groomsman and best man. Plus, stay out of drama and ask your SO (special other) how many girls she’s picked. Or else you’ll be looking at a lopsided wedding party. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If you have more groomsmen than bridesmaids, you can have one bridesmaid walk down the aisle with two of your bros.

How to choose groomsmen that will not be afraid to get their pants rolled up. Literally. Photographer: Gold Hat Photography.

Why choose groomsmen? Amongst other things, to walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids. Coachella style wedding theme at The Woods of Jervis Bay. Photography: Nathan Lapham.

When (And How) to Ask Your Groomsmen to Be in Your Wedding?

Admit it. The fact that your girl has already picked a string of besties and fam for her bridal party has probably left you shook.

But calm down, you’re not running out of time just yet. Girls have always been extra when it comes to weddings. Yet, you shouldn’t back out of the fun either. The sooner, the better – you want to give them ample time to fulfill their duties – but carefully evaluate who you will have by your side when you say your I do.

Bachelor party ideas for the outdoorsy groom.

Harry Potter inspired mismatched groomsmen socks. Wave Hill Wedding by Christian Oth Studio.

Let’s say, you have already picked them, you will have to figure out how to ask your groomsmen to be in your wedding. And do it with class, pick a special gift, pop up the champagne or invite them to a game. Then ask them!

Related: The Groom’s Tie: How to Choose the Right Color and Style for the Big Day

Now that we’ve covered all of the details, let’s get to the big answer:

Scratch-off “be my groomsman” card. Accompany it with a monogrammed glass, seriously bro. From faded Gardenias in Chicago, Illinois. Buy it here!

How to Choose Groomsmen for your Wedding

Is there a bro code for this? You wish!

Nowadays the groomsmen are all the guys and gals you’re tight with. Some men find choosing groomsmen and groomsladies pretty easy to do, if they have a small circle of friends. But the plot thickens if you’re one of those super popular guys with a long list of friends and family members all waiting to be asked.

Viva gender equality! Groomswoman, groomslady or groomsmaid, she is the crowning addition to his wedding party. Photo: Brooks Reynolds.

Traditionally some members of the family had to be picked as your groomsmen.

Here are a couple of tips to help you decide how to choose groomsmen and groomswomen:

1. Your mind may go to your friends first, but if you follow tradition when choosing groomsmen, consider including at least a family member. Be it a brother, sister, cousin or even a cool uncle. Some grooms might even rope in their brother-in-law and you can too if you want.
2. Reliability is a MUST when it comes down to how to choose groomsmen for your wedding. This is not the time for flaky friends who may forget the rings (keep 4 Weddings and a Funeral in mind), are not able to handle their booze or show up late at the ceremony. So, choose groomsmen or groomswomen that you can actually count on.
   (You don’t want to put yourself in such a tight spot!)
3. You and your bae might not be some fantasy couple, but there is always a friend or some friends who’ve been shipping (rooting) for you to be endgame ever since you met. Maybe they even introduced you. Get those people on your team. They’re the soundboards that made this happen as you went on and on about how amazing your partner is.
4. Avoid personality clashes like hell. Unless you thrive on drama. Click those people that you believe will click and definitely get along with your best man. That’s how to choose groomsmen for the ages!

Don’t miss out on these tips on how to choose groomsmen. One best man and one groomsman may be all a happy couple needs. Photographer: CK Photography.

Can you say best groomsman gift ever?! These are some lucky groomsmen.

A Few Final Words on How to Choose Groomsmen

Lastly, avoid selecting people who:

• You haven’t met since high school (not the time to get reacquainted)
• Are on your list just because you are related (unless there’s too much family pressure)
• Don’t like the bride or vice versa.

That’s it!

In the end, choosing groomsmen isn’t rocket science. You’ve only got to select the bros that have really been there for you and can be there for you now. They should know how to handle you at your highs and lows because a wedding tends to be lots of work and an emotional rollercoaster. And, we cannot stress this enough: make sure to choose groomsmen you can really count on to carry out their duties!

Include your sister in your wedding party. So loving the mixed gender groom’s squad!

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